First off I apologize for not blogging minute by minute of my updates. As you know last week was hellish-to say the least! But with trials come triumphs. Although I was served with my own set of papers, I was also hit with a double blessing. I have an interview scheduled for this Tuesday! WHen I say "Jesus" you say "awesome". JESUS, AWESOME, JESUS, AWESOME!
Secondly, this same agency has asked me to be their keynote speaker at their biggest fundraiser event of the year! We're talking black tie, champagne, filet mignon, crepes suzette, and a whole lot of other french titled shee shee poo poos.
Nevermind the double hitter, are you ready for the triple header? In October, I am to give a speech for the ground breaking ceremony on behalf of Project Eagle where I will meet my city's mayor, congress people, and other community leaders. Project Eagle is a family advocacy support organization in Wyandotte County, a much needed angel.
Let's tie this all together...Last week, it ended with the me down in the dumps because of my job situation. This week starts out with me and an interview!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
FOR REAL, FOR REAL
"For real, for real" is a term that I've recently picked up. It means that whatever statement proceeds is serious stuff! So here it goes....
I just found out today, this morning whateva that my job can only be guaranteed through September 30, 2008. FOR REAL, FOR REAL!
I was a little miffed or should I say pissed when I looked at my chair and saw 2 memos layed where my butt usually rests. Cutting internet access off, turning in agency cell phones, office lines being removed from the general systems, turning the air condition off (um, excues me it's still August-at least for a few more days!)
So here it is the second day of the Fight of My Life and dayum......this was a good hit.
I just found out today, this morning whateva that my job can only be guaranteed through September 30, 2008. FOR REAL, FOR REAL!
I was a little miffed or should I say pissed when I looked at my chair and saw 2 memos layed where my butt usually rests. Cutting internet access off, turning in agency cell phones, office lines being removed from the general systems, turning the air condition off (um, excues me it's still August-at least for a few more days!)
So here it is the second day of the Fight of My Life and dayum......this was a good hit.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The Fight Of My Life
I'm sitting here letting Kirk Franklin's latest CD, "The Fight Of My Life" speak to me and it is sobering to say the least. Here are some of the titles: Help Me Believe, Hide Me, How It Used to Be, Still In Love, I Like Me. Get the picture?
You know how it is once you overcome a situation in your life and you're like, "Wow, whew glad that's over". You know when you're climbing that mountain and once you make it to the top you're like "Oh my God-I made it!" Last week, when I filed my papers that's how I was. I was on a natural high like, whoa. It wasn't until my '78 Grand Marquis starting acting funky at a stoplight, like she had breathed her last breath/it wasn't until I called myself going out to have a good time and had to wake right back up to start my 7 day work week/it wasn't until the grapevine busted in my face and told me my agency that employs me may not have enough funds to continue my position in 2009/ it wasn't until all those things happened within 48 hours that I understood, Sistah-you are in the fight of your life. Now is the time to piss or get off the pot and while you're sitting there taking your sweet time, don't forget about your 4 babies who depend on your very existence.
Now I know, now the FIGHT OF MY LIFE BEGINS...
You know how it is once you overcome a situation in your life and you're like, "Wow, whew glad that's over". You know when you're climbing that mountain and once you make it to the top you're like "Oh my God-I made it!" Last week, when I filed my papers that's how I was. I was on a natural high like, whoa. It wasn't until my '78 Grand Marquis starting acting funky at a stoplight, like she had breathed her last breath/it wasn't until I called myself going out to have a good time and had to wake right back up to start my 7 day work week/it wasn't until the grapevine busted in my face and told me my agency that employs me may not have enough funds to continue my position in 2009/ it wasn't until all those things happened within 48 hours that I understood, Sistah-you are in the fight of your life. Now is the time to piss or get off the pot and while you're sitting there taking your sweet time, don't forget about your 4 babies who depend on your very existence.
Now I know, now the FIGHT OF MY LIFE BEGINS...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I Did It.
I did it. I filed my divorce papers. Talk about a weight being lifted as I crawl to my next goal. It's been a long time, too long of a time coming. These past months have whizzed by with the quickness and now, as I have the stamped paperwork with case number and all in hand, I dread that these upcoming months will not be as forgiving.
When I left the district clerk's office, it felt like I'd broken another link from my change of dependency. I stood on the steps of the building and took perhaps the deepest breath I've ever dared and smiled to myself, "I'm not suppose to be here". I mean, by statistics, I'm not suppose to be a single, mom of four, with one full time and one part time gig, living on my own, paying my own bills, driving my own ride-but I am. I may be tired, broke, on the edge of a nervous breakdown-but I'm still here. I'm still standing (however wobbly). I'm still believing (in God) and most importantly I'm still loving (myself).
Sometimes we dare not go against the grain or choose the most difficult choice in life for fear of failure. I didn't say no to marriage-for fear I would not be successful on my own. I didn't say no to moving-for fear that I would miss out on something better. Get the picture?
It wasn't until I said no to an emotionally, financially, sexually abusive relationship that I could start saying yes to learning to love myself. It wasn't until I said no to fear that I was able to receive the blessings that God had engraved upon my life before I was humanly conceived.
I can truthfully say that I'm a testimony in that when you feel you have nothing else, you still have God and that my Beloved is all we need most often. It does feel good to have others in your corner, rallying behind goals you face, but for real-at the end of the day the single most important thing that matters is God is still God.
When I left the district clerk's office, it felt like I'd broken another link from my change of dependency. I stood on the steps of the building and took perhaps the deepest breath I've ever dared and smiled to myself, "I'm not suppose to be here". I mean, by statistics, I'm not suppose to be a single, mom of four, with one full time and one part time gig, living on my own, paying my own bills, driving my own ride-but I am. I may be tired, broke, on the edge of a nervous breakdown-but I'm still here. I'm still standing (however wobbly). I'm still believing (in God) and most importantly I'm still loving (myself).
Sometimes we dare not go against the grain or choose the most difficult choice in life for fear of failure. I didn't say no to marriage-for fear I would not be successful on my own. I didn't say no to moving-for fear that I would miss out on something better. Get the picture?
It wasn't until I said no to an emotionally, financially, sexually abusive relationship that I could start saying yes to learning to love myself. It wasn't until I said no to fear that I was able to receive the blessings that God had engraved upon my life before I was humanly conceived.
I can truthfully say that I'm a testimony in that when you feel you have nothing else, you still have God and that my Beloved is all we need most often. It does feel good to have others in your corner, rallying behind goals you face, but for real-at the end of the day the single most important thing that matters is God is still God.
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