Getting To Know My Text Style (textile for the slower ones)

Has anyone else got caught up in the whirl wind of texting? Now that I've added unlimited texting I'm sure my friends, colleagues, family, and acquaintances' heads sometimes spin with the randomness of messages I send.

I hit them with anything from a saying or idea I've come up with, the latest on current news events, Scriptura, or just a good morning. I keep up with my friends' days and whatever is going on in their lives. It's a way to stay connected. If I think about it long enough-I'd say I'm slightly addicted. I guess that's somewhat oxymoronic like "kinda pregnant".

Okay, but this addiction has been used for both good and evil. Most recently the evil won out. It reminded me of how nice it is to be somewhat disconnected from some things and now, some people.

This weekend, while caught in the middle of trying to sort out the pick up of my children's furniture and figuring out who would watch them while I worked my shifts of 8p-am (sat) and 3p-11p (sun), this texting thing came in handy.

As some single custodial parents have experienced, dealing with the non-custodial parent can prove to be as trying as pulling an abcessed widsdom tooth which has broken, out of your mouth.

In the ideal world, both parents come together for the good of the child/children, but in my world, my reality has been that one or both cannot or will not put aside their own hurt, guilt, pain, shame, selfishness, basically ego to make it work.

Right you guessed it! I, once again trying to forge an allegiance with their father texted him to see if he would be willing to do one or the other, but all along banking that we would handle both.

"Why didn't she just call and ask him, what's up with texting him?"

Glad you asked! Texting him as been the main way for us to communicate because he doesn't like hearing my voice. Could he just hit delete and never read my texts? Yeah, he could, but the incessant curiousity that we humans have would not allow him to just hit delete and then began the WAR OF THE ROSES (text style).

I won't go into the sordid details (you'll have to read my novel, at the end of the day to get 'em. But I will say this much, it's interesting how powerful this texting thing can be. He called me as soon as received my first text, breaking his control of keeping his distance from me-ALTHOUGH I DID NOT AND WOULD NOT ANSWER IT. It (the texts) allowed me to say things to him that he probably wouldn't have stayed on the phone to listen to. Not that he actually heard what I was saying, but just the freedom I got from actually communicating with him, whether it be fruitful or not.

I did declare after that bout of hurling texts back and forth, that I would no longer succomb to texting as the main form of communication between the two of us. I guess that's the next topic my counselor and I will get a handle on. The Art of Communicating, sounds like a required freshman textbook from college.

I digress,

Peace.

I Did It.

I did it. I filed my divorce papers. Talk about a weight being lifted as I crawl to my next goal. It's been a long time, too long of a time coming. These past months have whizzed by with the quickness and now, as I have the stamped paperwork with case number and all in hand, I dread that these upcoming months will not be as forgiving.

When I left the district clerk's office, it felt like I'd broken another link from my change of dependency. I stood on the steps of the building and took perhaps the deepest breath I've ever dared and smiled to myself, "I'm not suppose to be here". I mean, by statistics, I'm not suppose to be a single, mom of four, with one full time and one part time gig, living on my own, paying my own bills, driving my own ride-but I am. I may be tired, broke, on the edge of a nervous breakdown-but I'm still here. I'm still standing (however wobbly). I'm still believing (in God) and most importantly I'm still loving (myself).

Sometimes we dare not go against the grain or choose the most difficult choice in life for fear of failure. I didn't say no to marriage-for fear I would not be successful on my own. I didn't say no to moving-for fear that I would miss out on something better. Get the picture?

It wasn't until I said no to an emotionally, financially, sexually abusive relationship that I could start saying yes to learning to love myself. It wasn't until I said no to fear that I was able to receive the blessings that God had engraved upon my life before I was humanly conceived.

I can truthfully say that I'm a testimony in that when you feel you have nothing else, you still have God and that my Beloved is all we need most often. It does feel good to have others in your corner, rallying behind goals you face, but for real-at the end of the day the single most important thing that matters is God is still God.